Cane Toad Muster Music Video


WATCH VIDEO BELOW.  The “Cows With Guns Guy” now brings you “Cane Toad Muster,” the story of the brave Australian people battling a ruthless invader, the cane toad. Confused about audio/video formats? See our guide.


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Watch “Cane Toad Muster”

Dana Lyons: Guitar and Vocal
Jack Tinapple: Drums and Background Vocal
Recorded and filmed in Australia by Charles Darwin University’s Technical Production Unit

About the Song

The cane toad (originally from South America) was brought to Queensland, Australia by government bureaucrats (surprise, surprise) at the urging of the sugar cane industry. Instead of eating the beetles in the sugar cane, the cane toads ate everything else, and anything that ate them (goannas–large lizards, crocodiles, dogs, etc.) died, wiping out much of the large fauna across Australia.

But now in an amazing turnaround, the people of Australia are fighting back, using copious amounts of beer and a twisted new sport: “Cane Toad Muster.” Led by the outback cowboys of the eastern Kimberley (Kimberley Toad Busters:, the cane toads are on the defensive. Will the cane toads prevail on eating all of Australia? Will the beer-swilling sports-rabid Aussies manage to make it off their sofas to battle back the cane toads? Stay tuned as this reality TV show involving an entire continent and at least 30 breweries unfolds. Cane Toad Muster!

The Cane Toad Muster song (digital download) is also available on Dana’s website HERE.


By Dana Lyons

There’s never been an issue here
Where everyone agreed
Aside from needing more cold beer
At a Friday evening feed
And any family’s gonna fight
Over how the money’s spent
And God knows there ain’t consensus here
About the environment

But now in modern times
There is a plague we all can see
Where the redneck and the greenie
And the miner all agree
White fella, black fella, rich and poor,
The immigrant Timorese
The punter and the banker
The stockman, the hippie

They brought ‘em into Queensland
And they spread to New South Wales
They moved on into Kakadu
And killed the crocodile
No one could stop the menace
Of the cane toads running free
Till they ran into the crazy mob
In the Eastern Kimberley

The Kimberley’s a rugged place
There ain’t too much to do
‘Cept sit around and drink a beer
And argue family feuds
But when bush tucker is threatened
And the goannas become few
The cowboys here got ornery
They drank, and thought it through

To rally every Aussie
Every woman, man and child
To kill off every cane toad
Who is decimating the wild
To unify the country
From the Outback to the ports
It’s gonna take a lot of beer
And a violent brand new sport

Cane Toad Muster

We’ll issue special uniforms
And sell air pellet guns
For a 100 rounds of ammo
Who will be the champion?
Tourism gone wild
They will come from every land
From Sydney and Tasmania
New York, Afghanistan

And the moment when you thought
This tale could not be more insane
An invitation comes from Greece
Cane Toad Muster in the Olympic games
And let’s not forget the children
They must get in on the fun
Now every day is Easter
The toad hunt has begun

Now the moral of this story here
Is becoming quite clear
One twisted sports idea
And a few more rounds of beer
Can unify a nation
To fight a plague they fear
Join the Kimberley Toad Busters
To protect the Outback, so dear

Cane Toad Muster

Have you got the nerve
To swerve?

Cane Toad Muster

Copyright 2013
Lyons Brother Music, BMI